How to make a good description of yourself on your profile ?

Don’t be boring ! Loads of profiles are now on line, and more will continue to join the website, so someone looking for a date has a lot of “choices” of people to engage with. You need to stand out !
“Hello, my name is Laurence and I am looking for a partner” is exactly what should be avoided !
Friend, you are on a dating website…everybody understands you are here because you are looking for someone to share moments with ! Such description does not give any input about you which could be used by someone who could be attracted to you to engage in a conversation, so that makes it more difficult for you to get people come to you, furthermore, some might think that you are kind of dull.

Be funny ! Remember that making people laugh is always good way to get their attention, but do also remember that what is funny for you may not be for others ! It is subjective.
So ensure to pick carefully your words as you do not want to either irritate people who read your profile or let them think that your jokes are little edge.

Don’t use offensive words ! Using such kind of words, is not going to make you look cool. Quite actually the opposite ! What you can say when you are familiar with people is different then what you say when you meet people for the first time or when you want to impress people. Using the “F word” all the time in your description or while chating will not bring you anywhere and will most likely make you look as a looser.

Say what you like – not what you don’t like ! If you have spent a bit of time on dating websites or if you are simply a normal human being surrounded by normal people, you may have noticed that people like positivity. Why spending time describing what you don’t like and potentially closing doors while you could be opening doors with potential partners. As an example, considering you like hiking but you do not like drinking alcohol : putting in your description only that you don’t like alcohol without mentioning that you like hiking might scare off someone who is actually passionate about hiking but who likes to have a drink once in a while after a good hick ! He / She will not see that you like hiking but will only think that he cannot share the after effort moment with you. So again, state what you like only !

Don’t act as a perv ! We are sorry to say, but based on our experience, this topic is mainly directed to men ! Discussing the size of your engine, or what sexual practice you like is not something you want to advertise on your description ! You are more than a sex machine !

Be confident, but also humble ! Anyone likes to deal with confident people, especially women, they usually love men who can display confidence, but keep in mind that being confident does not mean you are not to remain humble. Saying stuff like “I am extremely successful” or “I am willing to talk only to successful people” might convey an intimidating message to the other side and as a result closes a door which could have been opened. In conclusion, you can “sell your-self” but do not overly do it.

Answer youyr profile questions ! Yes these questions are to be answered ! While we understand that you may be tempted to answer “I keep it for my-self” to some of our funny questions, you are actually doing a mistake ! Unlike any other dating websites, we wanted to create a fun experience for all our users whether males or females which is why our questionnaire is not typical. Take it likely, and pick one of the answer, that will show people who look at your profile that you do not take yourself too seriously and might help them to give them inspiration to contact you, the same way as it make you laugh when you see other people’s answer ! Don’t be shy and take this lightly !
To modify your answers to our questionnaire, please go to “Profile” on the top right corner, click there, and then click on either “Chinese Portrait” or “Secret garden interview”.

How to stand out of the crowd ?

Once again, whether you are a guy or her girl, remember you have lots of competition on dating websites ! As a consequence, you need to maximize your likability as well as your exposure.

Maximize your likability, is easy and to do that you to follow our tips for dating listed above concerning your profile description, but also select good pictures as explained below.

As for maximizing your exposure, we would recommend that from time to time you promote your profile so that it gives an extra boost to your own visibility towards potential people of the opposite sex.

To promote your profile you simply have to click on your “Profile” on the top right corner of the website than on “Promote my Profile”. This will advertise your profile on our main website.

How to select well your profile pictures ?

This is something you have to consider carefully if you wish to maximize your chances to find the partner of your dreams or the right person to spend time with. Your appearance is the first thing that people will see while reading your profile, do not forget that ! Your personality and the way you chat with people will be seen later.

First of all, you need to pick picture where you look natural and clean. Putting a picture in an exotic place can demonstrate that you have been traveling around and that you are curious about other cultures, which is clearly something positive. On the contrary, putting a picture of you drunk in a pub might scare of some people who are more conservative thinking that they do not want to date a “drunk” or a girl who parties every night.

Avoid pictures with sunglasses, as that will prevent people to see how you really look like. That might also imply from a psychological point of view that you have something to hide. According to scientific studies, people tend to consider others wearing sunglasses as less trustable and less honest.

Also, there is no point selecting picture is a too wide angle where people will not see you clearly.

Pictures which have been modified with filters have also to be avoided as they will display a wrong image of you and might create a disappointment when you get the chance of meeting a potential date.
Once again the key is “honesty” by displaying pictures which show you as you are…but on your good days !

Messaging people, the best way to connect !

Yes, once you got the opportunity to chat with someone, you should go for it ! Simply keep a few things in mind to prevent the other side to see you as “desperate” or “not that interested” :

Double texting when you do not hear a response (That will not make him / her respond faster)

Asking him/her if he / she got your last message (He / she had it but may decide not to answer)

Making plan in the too distant future (He / She might lose interest by then)

Having discontinued conversation : either make the time to chat or postpone it to later

Talking about an exclusive relationship too soon (Wait to know him / her better)

Asking him / her if he / she is chatting with other people (He / She is anyway)

Where to go for a first date ?

That is a recurrent question everybody ask themselves whenever they feel it is time for a meet up.
The right answer is : it depends ! Based on your expectations with the partner you are planning to meet, but also based on your preliminary discussions with him/her, you should be able to know what he/she likes and then suggest that. It is however recommended to pick up a place which is not too noisy as the two might want to be able to chat…and hear each other’s ! A coffee shop, or a restaurant is usually a good choice as long as it is not too noisy.
Pick a place where you feel comfortable to go to, ideally somewhere you know, so that you will not be disappointed. However, we would suggest not picking a place fancier than where you normally go, because if you are a guy, you might set too high expectations for the girl who might legitimately see you as wealthier than you are, and if you are a girl suggesting a very fancy place, the guy might thing you just want a free night out ! So be mindful for your dating meet up point !

Note specific to South East Asia (SEA) : In SEA, it is cultural for women to let the men decide on where to go, so if you are a westerner coming on holiday or who recently moved in the region, do not be surprised if you receive a frequent answer when asking where to go “up to you”. It does not mean that the lady you wish to date does not really care, but it simply the way it works here. As for the ladies, please note that most western men like ladies who come up with suggestion as it implies you have personality.

How to dress for your first date ?

Finding the appropriate way to dress for your first date is important, but not that complicated.
Simply dress the way you feel comfortable with, but also try to demonstrate that you have made a small effort to “look good”. This shall be much appreciated by your potential dating partner irrelevantly whether you are a man dating a woman or the other way around.

It is to be noted that the above is particularly true in SEA. Usually, Filipina, Indonesian or Thai girls like their men to be dressed up to illustrate their social status, but it is also to be noted that girls from SEA make a great effort to look pretty and seductive when meeting a potential partner for a date, so again, demonstrate that you took the time to consider carefully the way you dress will be much appreciated by your future lover.

What if you could read through mind when dating ?

Everyone would be happy to read mind as clearly as reading a book when going through a negotiation or when dating…Guess what ? It is almost possible…and we are about to unveil these secrets for you !

“How ?” you are going to ask. The answer is simple : To relate effectively to others, you need to read your partner, get feedback about how he/she feels, and adjust your approach as necessary.

To do so you need to read his/her body language ! In general, nonverbal communication is usually an honest display of feelings (much more so than words). So, below we are going to teach you how to read basic body language for dating. Learn to read your partner and make the right moves !

Introduction to body language :

According to specialists, body language behaviors are guided by very primitive parts of our brain - called the limbic system. Essentially, this system tells us when we are comfortable or uncomfortable, and readies our bodies to pursue what is attractive and run or fight what is not.

Given that, in a dating context, we can use very simple body language cues to assume what our partner is feeling. We can read whether his/her limbic system is saying to stay and snuggle, or cut and run. These limbic system signals are particularly important for romance, because that part of our brain is also responsible for our feelings of love.

So how do you know if you are on the right way to his/her heart or not ? Just look for positive or negative clusters of body language, as explained below :

Positive body language - your partner might move towards you and decreasing the space between you two, if he or she likes what you are doing or asking. In addition, other liking behavior can include : leaning in towards you, feet pointing towards you and wiggling happily, legs uncrossed and comfortable, arms open and palms up, playfully fondling jewelry or hair, smiling, extended eye contact, or looking down shyly.

Negative body language - your partner might move away from you and create space between you two, if he or she dislikes what you are doing or asking. In addition, other behaviors that signal dislike include : leaning away from you, feet pointed away from you, legs crossed and stiff, arms crossed, palms down, closed hands, itching eyes, scratching nose, or rubbing back of neck, frowning, grimacing, and turning the eyes away to the side.

When you are trying to figure out how your partner feels about you or your approach, look for combinations of the behaviors above, and that should give you some input whether your approach is right or not.

In conclusion, paying attention to clusters of simple body language cues can go a long way in dating. Use them to tell how your partner feels. Pick your actions accordingly for maximum success. In the end, you will be more empathetic, attractive, and persuasive !

How to follow up after a date :

You just finished your date, whether your expectation was : to get to know him / her, to have a first kiss, to bring him / her home…it happened…or it did not happen…but you want to continue and see that person again, then you need to follow up to ensure to push further the relationship. Do not always expect the other to make the next move : be spontaneous !
A text after the date stating you had a great moment and you wish to meet him / her again is always a great way to show you are engaged with that person. Don’t wait, do it just after the date, as people say “bite the bullet” !

#15 First Date Mistakes You Should Avoid

#1. Being late. It makes a terrible first impression and guarantees the other person starts the date annoyed. If it cannot be avoided, text with an apology and apologize again when you arrive.

#2. Rudeness to service people. Nothing screams entitlement, irritability or obnoxiousness more than being rude to a waiter. If the waiter is just that bad, tell your date what you find unacceptable about the service and that you plan to say something (but skip it if your date objects or seems uncomfortable).

3#. Not asking question.  Asking questions conveys engagement. If you do not ask your date questions, they will assume you’re not interested in them and will promptly lose interest in you. If you’re shy or unsure about what to ask, think of topics ahead of time.

#4. Unnecessary medical history reveals. No one wants to hear about your colonoscopy on a first date (or the second, third, or fourth). Save your medical history for later unless you’re showing up with your leg in a cast and there’s a good story behind it.

#5. Talking about an ex. Unless you’re asked directly, avoid soliloquies about your ex. It will only make you look like you haven’t moved on. If you are asked, say the briefest, nicest thing you can and subtly and politely try to change the subject.

#6. Poor table manners. Most of us know saliva breaks down food—we don’t need to see a demonstration of it. Watch your manners (even if you’re drinking). Speaking of which …

#7. Overindulging. A drink or two is fine, but make sure you stay present and in control. Getting sloppy or messy on a first date does not make a good impression unless your date is getting just as sloppy and messy as you are—which is not how most solid relationships begin.

#8. Checking your phone. Checking your phone makes you come across as bored or distracted, neither of which is appealing to the person you’re with. If you must check your phone, apologize, explain why, and do it quickly—or just excuse yourself to the restroom and do it there.

#9. Discussing your ideal partner. The problem with this topic is it usually comes across as a “must have” or “deal breaker” list most people cannot meet, even if you just intend it as “nice-to-have” guidelines. In other words, it likely turns off the other person rather than endearing them to you.

#10. Talking too much, especially if it’s all about you. Make sure conversation flows back and forth, and don’t make it hard for the other person to get a word in. If the person you’re with isn’t talking much, try open-ended questions.

#11. Using terms of endearment prematurely. Even when the date is going amazingly well and you think the feeling is mutual, avoid calling your date babe or honey (unless you work in a diner and can’t shake the habit). It simply presumes too much familiarity too soon, and some people find it patronizing, despite the good intention.

#12. Being too self-effacing. There is absolutely no need to announce all your flaws on a first date. Modesty is appealing; low self-esteem less so. Making one self-effacing joke is fine but not a string of them. And the one you should not make is …

#13. Joking about how bad you are at dating. Telling someone on a first date that you’re bad at dating is like the director coming out before the movie to announce that it stinks. It kills any interest or motivation the other person might have had.

#14. Bragging about your income, possessions, or skills. Bragging in general is a turn-off. This includes name dropping, discussing how much you paid for your new ski house, or describing how amazing you are at beach volleyball. Saying you just came back from Greece is fine. Saying you flew first-class and stayed on a private yacht is unnecessary and might create resentment if the person you’re with has never left the country.

#15. Giving a lecture or tirade about cherished beliefs. There’s a reason you shouldn’t discuss politics or religion on a first date: When you have strong opinions or beliefs, it’s easy to get a bit overexcited and go from participating in a discussion to monopolizing one. Be cautious when discussing anything about which you feel passionately (or angry) and make sure you’re not overwhelming the other person.